Once every school year it happens. It is inevitable. It is only a matter of when. . . and when arrived today. . . at the end of 5th period. . .
Scene: Mr. Hall's 5th period English Language Arts classroom. Students are busily working on the assignment with ten minutes left of class time.
STUDENT A: Mr. Hall, what religion are you?
MR. HALL: Why do you want to know?
STUDENT A: I was talking with some friends about you today and they said some things.
MR. HALL: What did they say?
STUDENT A: They said that they think you are Mormon or something.
MR. HALL: Interesting.
STUDENT A: So, are you Mormon or something?
MR. HALL: Yes, I am Mormon or something.
STUDENT A: So you don't celebrate Christmas?!
MR. HALL: I celebrate Christmas.
STUDENT A: But you are Mormon. . . Mormons aren't allowed to do a lot of things.
MR. HALL: People have a lot of misconceptions about Mormons.
STUDENT B: Mr. Hall, you are Mormon.
MR. HALL: Yes.
STUDENT C: So you celebrate Hanukkah?
MR. HALL: No, I celebrate Christmas.
STUDENT C: O, you celebrate Christmas, Mr. Hall.
MR. HALL: Yes.
[Students begin to chat on that side of the room. Suddenly STUDENT D calls MR. HALL to the other side of the room]
STUDENT D: Mr. Hall!
MR. HALL: Yes.
STUDENT D: You are Mormon?
MR. HALL: Yes.
STUDENT D: Mormons don't have sex before they are married, right?
MR. HALL: Correct, if they are practicing their religion.
STUDENT D: Mr. Hall, are you married?
MR. HALL: No.
STUDENT D smiles.
END SCENE
*Other students were not paying attention to STUDENT D's questions and thus missed the connection. In past years students have been slow to make the connection (Mr. Hall is mormon--pause--mormons don't have sex outside of marriage--pause--Mr. Hall isn't married--pause--*LIGHT BULB MOMENT*. . . Mr Hall is a virgin. *Laughter*).
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5 comments:
You should come up with something witty to say in response, like "If I make it to 40, I can cash in my V-card and get a free dream vacation"
There are some advantages to teaching older students.
It appears that this is not one of them ;)
Oh man. I'm still laughing. Give me a moment ... ok, I'm better. It's kinda cute.
LOL! I smile at you that way too, Brett.
I noticed that you had a blog when I was commenting on facebook-- wow. I'm thinking my one too many "that's what she said" references have thrown them off so far, but I haven't had this "lovely" conversation with students yet. Very funny and very well told.
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