Tuesday, December 8, 2009

So, it finally happened this year. . .

Once every school year it happens. It is inevitable. It is only a matter of when. . . and when arrived today. . . at the end of 5th period. . .

Scene: Mr. Hall's 5th period English Language Arts classroom. Students are busily working on the assignment with ten minutes left of class time.

STUDENT A: Mr. Hall, what religion are you?

MR. HALL: Why do you want to know?

STUDENT A: I was talking with some friends about you today and they said some things.

MR. HALL: What did they say?

STUDENT A: They said that they think you are Mormon or something.

MR. HALL: Interesting.

STUDENT A: So, are you Mormon or something?

MR. HALL: Yes, I am Mormon or something.

STUDENT A: So you don't celebrate Christmas?!

MR. HALL: I celebrate Christmas.

STUDENT A: But you are Mormon. . . Mormons aren't allowed to do a lot of things.

MR. HALL: People have a lot of misconceptions about Mormons.

STUDENT B: Mr. Hall, you are Mormon.

MR. HALL: Yes.

STUDENT C: So you celebrate Hanukkah?

MR. HALL: No, I celebrate Christmas.

STUDENT C: O, you celebrate Christmas, Mr. Hall.

MR. HALL: Yes.

[Students begin to chat on that side of the room. Suddenly STUDENT D calls MR. HALL to the other side of the room]

STUDENT D: Mr. Hall!

MR. HALL: Yes.

STUDENT D: You are Mormon?

MR. HALL: Yes.

STUDENT D: Mormons don't have sex before they are married, right?

MR. HALL: Correct, if they are practicing their religion.

STUDENT D: Mr. Hall, are you married?

MR. HALL: No.


STUDENT D smiles.

END SCENE

*Other students were not paying attention to STUDENT D's questions and thus missed the connection. In past years students have been slow to make the connection (Mr. Hall is mormon--pause--mormons don't have sex outside of marriage--pause--Mr. Hall isn't married--pause--*LIGHT BULB MOMENT*. . . Mr Hall is a virgin. *Laughter*).

5 comments:

Nicole said...

You should come up with something witty to say in response, like "If I make it to 40, I can cash in my V-card and get a free dream vacation"

Quixotic Healer said...

There are some advantages to teaching older students.

It appears that this is not one of them ;)

We are Ben and Rebecca said...

Oh man. I'm still laughing. Give me a moment ... ok, I'm better. It's kinda cute.

Empress of Venus said...

LOL! I smile at you that way too, Brett.

Jaclyn said...

I noticed that you had a blog when I was commenting on facebook-- wow. I'm thinking my one too many "that's what she said" references have thrown them off so far, but I haven't had this "lovely" conversation with students yet. Very funny and very well told.